Bad Bad Shoppette Worker

I love movies! Love them! I have a weird talent in that I can see an actor or actress in the blink of an eye and recall not only their name but all other movies they have been in and weird quirky things about them. Here is the crazy thing about my memory (crazy or broken?) I cannot remember names of people I meet in my everyday life, their kids or spouses names. I try, really I do, but it goes in one ear and out the other. I takes about 3 introductions, it is embarrassing. I forget events that happen in my life that are significant, Mark is constantly reminding me what it was like while we were dating. I say, "What?! We dated?" "What? We lived in Texas?" "What? I gave birth to 2 girls??" An event expires in my memory after about 2 years. Why is that? . . . But, eerily, I remember odd things about my life like there was a camper in the background of my wedding photos, I would wake up to piles of red dust in my windows when we lived in Texas (probably one of the many reasons why Texas is wiped from my mind), and I ate bran muffins for breakfast every day while in college, AND Mark's calf muscles turned me on while we were dating (so we DID date), and finally, I was a dairy cow princess for one single parade in smallville Utah, oh and my Junior prom dress was the bomb because it made me look like I actually had breasts.

Anyway, back to my love affair with movies. I have always enjoyed the cinema. It is a break from reality, you get to watch pretty people, I have permission to eat popcorn and diet coke after 9:00 pm. If I'm feeling really crazy, it is raisenets baby. I really like movies with happy endings, I am a "happily ever after" kind of girl. If a movie has a sad ending I mourn it for a couple of days. I like to laugh, cry, and be a fly on the wall of scenes full of emotion and energy.

Enter "Bad Bad Shoppette Worker", let's just call her BBSW for short. Yesterday I was in the shoppette renting a few movies to watch with my man this week while I have him home. I picked out one that I have been wanting to see for awhile. I have heard good things about it. Here is the mind blowing conversation I had with Miss BBSW:

BBSW: "Oh, that is a really good movie"
Me: "I have heard good things about it"
BBSW: "The two actors work very well together, they are so happy. But it ends bad, he dies"

What the blazin' just happened BBSW???!!!!

Here is another personality fault I get to enjoy during my lifetime. I think of perfect things to say to mean people after the fact. So as I'm standing there staring at BBSW having an odd out of body experience that my head is on fire and bugs are crawling all over it and I'm dizzy, I have nothing to say.

Afterwards as I walk out to the car in a hazy daze of what is called, "I can't believe she just said that and what was she freakin' thinking?" Theses are the things I wish I would have said:

1. "Well, that's great you just saved me $3.50 and 1 1/2 hours of my time" as I'm putting the darn movie back on the shelf.

2. "Do you have any concept of what a true movie experience is like?"

3. "Oh, you must be one of those people that reads the last page of a book before you decide to read it"

4. "you must love to hear the evil villain laugh in the back of your head all day long, muuaaaahahahahah"

5. "Where is your supervisor, muuuaaahahahahaha"

6. "Why yes, McKenna, it is absolutely okay to turn the red Gatorade bottle upside down to see if the cap is on tight" saying this after the RED Gatorade cap is (oops) loosened by said little innocent McKenna. Muuaaaahahahahaha

And finally my favorite, "Has someone done something to you in your past to make you so hateful?" or "Remind me what day it was that I came in here and offended you or that my children bugged you that you felt you had to ruin this for me?"

We watched it anyway, I had no popcorn and a flat diet coke; basically it sucked.

Very Bad Bad BAD Shoppette Worker!

So here is a little challenge for you all, what would you have said? Leave a comment below. I bet you are more creative than me.