What a week!

This photo of McKenna clearly describes how my week has gone with out words. But you know me, I'm full of words so here you go: I feel stretched this week, almost but not quite to the point of becoming that person inside that I can't stand to let out (hence the picture). As I feel the roles that are required of me like mom, wife, friend, classroom helper, mom, teacher, mom, sister, mom, daughter, granddaughter, cook, seamstress, professional shopper, nurse, mom, dietitian and finally MOM; can get me too stretched out for my own good. Then I don't have time for these roles that I love too and make me a more interesting person such as photographer, gourmet chef =), reader, student of knowledge, artist, athlete. Not to mention the fact that when I am filling the second set of roles I actually become a better wife, mother, friend . . . Now this doesn't mean I don't love the aforementioned roles but I wonder sometimes if the real me is getting lost in it all, OR are these roles making me who I am? If that is the case why do I find myself getting so frustrated, angry and impatient, especially with the ones I love most when I am trying to fill all these roles??? There has been a change in me over the last few months. I'm trying to take more control over my time and how I use it. I used to feel that I needed to say YES to anything put on my plate but as I get older and feel the interesting, individual side of me slip (like going out on a date with my husband and not having anything to talk about except Elmo and how to get stains out of clothes) I decide it is up to me to take control. I want that energetic women in my 20's that has been on vacation to come home to my more mature 30's and have a party! I need to learn when to say NO and NO WAY and NO, NOT EVER, AND DON'T ASK ME AGAIN! =) Otherwise when my children are grown and out of the house how will my marriage survive if I am not interesting to this man I love anymore? The first change is being okay with time away from Mark and the girls to be alone. There are days when Mark comes home from work and sees the look in my eye (again refer to above picture) and suggests I go lay down and he will start dinner and take care of the children. I used to say "are you kidding, it is MY job to cook, clean and discipline" but now I jump at the chance and he doesn't have to ask twice and I read, take a bath, scrapbook . . . AND I have quit feeling so darn guilty all the time for doing it. It is amazing what can fill your heart and mind when you release guilt into the wide open world. I can fill it with happiness, fun and motivation to be a better more interesting person, for my husband and for my girls.